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"I'M NOT GAY. YOU SUCKED MY DICK"

from SEXUAL HEATHEN by DISIPLINE

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lyrics

Matt the dick sucker. That's what they called me in Jr. High when I came out as bi*. Tormented in the halls, I'd try to laugh it off, but their words cut deep. So fucking deep. Soon everytime I had a dick in my mouth, their words were all I could think about. Fuck them! And fuck you! You better do what you want to do despite their fucking judgment. Fuck them! And fuck you! I'm going to do what I want to do. Fuck your fucking judgment! I have felt pleasure turn into regret. In a matter of seconds you can be left with your actions in question. Don't forget shame can be so real, so deep, so devastating. Don't neglect yourself, respect yourself. Don't take the blame for your pain and self-hating. Don't neglect yourself, respect yourself.
*I use the term "Bi" here because it was the language used at that time in my life. However I now identify as queer, and try not to use language that reinforces the gender binary. Also, I didn't really come out so much as I was outed by boys I had hooked up with, who threw me under the bus to save themselves from public ridicule.

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from SEXUAL HEATHEN, released April 18, 2015

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DISIPLINE Boston, Massachusetts

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